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The romance of romance

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Do you ever consider the romance of romance? The myriad ways in which love can begin, can grow, flourish and yes, sadly, die? Now, have you ever considered that one way of falling in love might be inherently superior to another? Think about it for a moment, think of all the couples you know and the stories they tell of how they met and fell in love. Are some of those stories more satisfying than others? Do they seem to indicate a destiny written in the stars? Is the story of a couple whose eyes meet across a room and who share a moment, but who fail to meet, who overcome happenstance and circumstance, trials and tribulations only to be reunited and to fall into one another’s arms a better, truer, stronger love than a couple who meet on... let’s say... a dating site?

Well since you are reading this on a dating site I am going to presuppose that you don’t share the disdain that some do for such things but please allow me to elaborate. Many years ago when I was in a long term and loving relationship I was at an engagement party and got chatting to a friend I hadn’t seen since school. He introduced me to his blushing bride to be ( although just to complicate matters it wasn’t his engagement party ) and we fell to chatting. By and by I asked my friend how he had come to meet his fiancée. Initially he was circumspect, talking in the broadest terms and in hints and suggestions. Finally after listening to the two of them evade my simple question for what seemed like aeons I pressed the matter. My friend said “You promise you won’t take the mickey?” to which I reasonably replied “Why of course not, when do I ever take the mickey?” ( Will those of you who know me kindly refrain from sniggering at this point. Thank you. ) He then admitted, blushing and embarrassed, that they had met on a dating site. Unabashed I asked why he had thought that I would have mocked him for this. “Well it isn’t very romantic, is it?” he responded. In truth the story of how my partner at that time and I had met and fallen in love was full of all the elements I mentioned above. It was the kind of courtship to which epic poems are written. However in the end the romance of our romance wasn’t so great that she didn’t cheat on me. My friend and his now wife are still together, still in love and still hopelessly devoted to one another. Bastards! ( I jest, my friend has had a terrifically hard life and I am humbled by his strength of character and tenacity. ) So who has the better story to tell now?

The truth is that from an early age we are indoctrinated into believing in the romance of romance. The Hollywood version of how we should meet and fall in love with our ‘soulmate.’ You know what? It’s all bullshit! Really. In truth there is nothing inherently more romantic about meeting someone at your place of work, at a club, the queue for a cinema even than meeting them on a dating site. Endlessly mooning after the girl in the record store, the guy who serves you coffee, the office temp, is no more beautiful a meeting than catching your breath when you read a profile that just makes you think “This one, this one is something special...” on GM.

It's nice to have a sweet story of how you and your sweetheart met. That's all it is though a story. It becomes embellished and embroidered by time and by our love of the romance of romance. In the end it doesn't matter how you meet the one you love. It only matters that you do.
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I used to be in love with the idea of love back in the day......even though this is a dating site I never really expected to meet someone and for it to end up serious as it comes in many forms and if the only reason for me being on here was to have met you G then I would be happy in that no more no less.............
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You are more likely to meet somebody who you have chemistry with, gets along with your mates, and you find attractive in person offline. Ive found internet dating a bit of a letdown.....ill give you an example...i thought id met a really cool intelligent, funny guy. He shone online so i agreed to meet him. He had lied about his height and was very very short, on the date he stared at other chics, commenting about various parts of their anatomy, he ran off to the toilet every 5 mins and was generally a nuerotic, insensitive git who didnt know how to talk to gals. There was a huge gulf between the guy i met online and what i was seeing in person. I think thats the difference between conventional and online dating.

Sorry to sound a bit negative but my best mate, my dog just died and im still quite upset about it!
You are probobly thinking i have hugely high standards. I dont really. Just looking for a chatty honest funny guy with a bit of integrity. That is quite hard to find. I wont be holding my breath.....