*Warning this post will probably be Long and mabey complicated Lol*

Alrighty, so I'm 16 and I'm "involved" with a 20 year old (he will be 21 in April). I only met him 3 weeks ago but I have to say I'm head over heals for him. He is kind, caring, and has a REALLY good sense of humor (like he cant be serious for more then 2 minutes just like me). We are so alike in every way we even sit the same way. We met because my best friend is dating his best friend and the night after I met him he called me and asked me to be his girl friend and I said yes. The next weekend we broke up but it wasn't bad because were still super good friends and he really cared about my feelings during the whole thing. But in the past 3 weeks I have known him (including the time we were dating and when we wernt) We always share little kisses and hugs and he puts his arm around me or what ever. We don't/have never had sex. He is very responsible because the reason we broke up is because we both felt there was too much of an age difference, but we still both really like each other. And while this is all going on my parents don't even want me hanging out with him because he is too old (which makes me so mad). I guess this post is going to be pretty hard to read because I'm jumping all over the place but if you actually can manage to read it and understand it, I am so confused right now so thank you for helping me if you can!

There are no legal issues as long as you don't have a sexual relationship.

Also, here in the US the age of consent is set by the state. Most states choose 18, but in some (like Indiana, where it is 16) it is younger. One thing to remember though is that at least in the case of Indiana, if the parents decide the girl is not consenting, she is not technically consenting (this is a strange law that even I as an Indiana resident don't understand).

The issue with you being around him and suspition within your family that the relationship is romantic is that even though you are allowed to be together as long as you are not sexually active together, it could be insinuated that you are, and that could warrent (at least in the US) an arrest (its impossible to prove explicitly that the two actually had sex, so if there is enough implicit proof, or enough people saying it happened, he could go to jail).

Even then, that is not the major issue. The major issue is the age difference. I know you are all thinking "but its only 4 years" but a better way to look at it is in age %. The boy is 25% older than you. Thats a lot. There are a lot of life experiences missing in there and it is almost on the level of a generation gap when we are talking about an age difference of this large a percent. For an example, when I was 18 I was dating girls that were 16 and even then there was a noticable gap. We had different outlooks on life due to the world events they were too young to remember and important life experiences they had yet to encounter.

Simply between 16 and 18 there is a large change in maturity, particularly in decision making skills, and 18 to 20 presents just as big a change.

What am I saying? You two, even though you may not see it yet, are a whole world apart. You see things differently than one another, more so than you realize. I suggest that you two stay good friends and if when you turn 18 you still want to get together, at least your relationship is legal. You will have both seen the differences in your maturity levels at that point and have been able to make the decision as to whether it is tollerable in a sustainable romantic relationship.