Remember 'Deep Thoughts' by Jack Handy?
Crack me up big time. I figure this would be a good place to quote one of Jack's Deep Thoughts or make up one of your own!
Here goes!
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
I remember when they were selling Deep Thoughts Cards. They were like hallmark cards nice B&W photographs on the cover and Jack Handy sayings inside.
I gave one to my mother for her birthday that said
"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other."
injun write: With Hallowe'en coming I thought about this one and dredged it up---I apologize in advance!!
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
OOps---GM turned it all around again!!!
LOL
Re:
I must admit, you have audibly made me laugh. I even read it again and I'm still laughing.
Talk about terroristic threats! I recall once, I wanted to send Black Flowers to my ex, when she wasn't really all that much of an ex yet. I thought and still think that she would have really liked them. Have you ever tried to send black flowers to anyone for Valentines Day? It's hard! First off, they just aren't very popular among merchants. Secondly, a lot of merchants won't deliver them because, no matter what you tell them, they think that it is going to be and meant to be perceived as a death threat. I actually argued with this sales person on the phone, "You know, some people like that sort of thing (in ref. to black flowers)!" Since then, I have found a company that specializes in black flowers. Search engines are all astonishment!
With Hallowe'en coming I thought about this one and dredged it up---I apologize in advance!!
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
injun write: i love it Vlad--just don't shoot yourself in the as s!!!
another from Mr. Handy:
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
haha
the biggest man to laugh later, into their face,
"hey remember that time,
'no, which one?'
"hahaha haah heh, when you cried, tears of babies and weakness, you cried!"
"haha"
injun write: Damn!! Lost a thumb eh?! The most important physical attribute that keeps us above most other critters--the wonderful, amazing opposable thumb!
Try snapping your fingers without one! Hitch-hiking would be a bitch too!
True. At least it isn't essential for the trade-mark devil-horns gesture. In fact, without the thumb, he might really be able to get those fingers up and back. Hmm. Tony's finger....Ronnies thumb..... It's the work of Lucifer and the sign of their contract for success made with none less than the Prince of Darkness himself, ....uh?, ...what's his name?
I believe Mr. Dio cut off his thumb gardening just a year or two ago. As nice as it must be to have your own garden to fuss around, think deeply about how much more fun a person might have loosing a thumb or a finger on my proposed roller coaster.
Screams singing---'We're the last in line' Yeah--where the fuc k is Ronnie James Dio these days?! May he be immortalized in bobble head fame and lore forever!!
Been thinking about your roller coaster commute idea as well Vlad. I think you may have something there! I'm thinking that all forms of public transit can add a little twist to their service.
"Hey! Does anyone wanna go a little faster??"
I need to think on this one a bit more!!
Maybe not the deepest thought, but I've been dwelling on how happy I would be to own a Ronnie James Dio bobbing-head statue with realistic, yet exaggeratedly long, Ronnie James D. hair. Ronnie could bob his head at me at work or from my dashboard, or from where ever I'd stand his little devil-horning figure and I could devil-horn him back when ever the mood struck me as appropriate to do so. Rock on, Ronnie James! Rock on!
'A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."'
I often think of how wonderful it would be to construct an immense roller-coaster (Really! I do!) that stretched from the New Jersey bank of the Hudson River to Manhattan's West Side. It would be inexpensive, very quick, and the commuters would really, really, actually probably enjoy their morning commute.
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