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Jesus Jokes
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Posted on Thu, May 31, 2007 09:05

Hey everyone just want to see how many messed up jokes people can come up with for jesusor religon in general.
Here's one for you.

Jesus Christ walks into a hotel, heads to the front desk and hands the clerk 3 nails. And asks "Hey, Can you Put me up for the night?"

A pagan dies and goes to hell, when he gets there he sees white sand beaches, palm trees, and all the maikings of a 5 star resort. A man walks up and introduces himself as satan and tells the pagan that tennis will be starting in 10 minutes. The pagan thinks he's gonna like it in hell when all of a sudden everything bursts into fire and brimestone, as a burning man falls from the ground. When the burning man hits the ground, he dissappears and everythings back to the way it was. The pagan looks around and asks what the hell was that. Satan says christians, they wouldnt have hell any other way.



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Posted on Tue, Aug 23, 2011 16:26

Q.  Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesue?

A.  It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

 



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Posted on Sun, Oct 25, 2009 07:02

What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar



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Posted on Sun, Sep 06, 2009 02:38

this is dumb but it poped into my head. Why is marry so famous.....She was the first to say GOD DAMN IT, Jesus Christ. Told ya now you will never get that ten seconds of your life back blame jesus



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Posted on Fri, Mar 21, 2008 19:02

well it not a jesus joke but i find it so stupid that it funny lol: why is there priest in the vaticant? tust me they dont know either but they're still there :P



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Posted on Wed, Oct 10, 2007 16:51

What did Jesus say when he was up on the cross?




"This was one Hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation."



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Posted on Tue, Aug 14, 2007 17:15

heres one its not about jesus but in the same line so i'll tell it anyway.

4 nuns die in a car crash and they all go to heaven. An angel is waiting for them he says "before you go into heaven i have to ask you all a question" so the frist nun goes up to him he says "have you ever touched a willy"? she says yes with my finger the angel says "well go and wash your hand in the holy water and you can go". The second nun comes up he asks her the same question she says yes with my hand, he says "go wash your hand in the holy water". But the fourth nun runs to wash her mouth out the angel says hey its not your turn yet. she says "if you think i'm going to wash my mouth out in there after shes wash her arse out you have got another thing coming".



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Posted on Wed, Jun 20, 2007 22:02

Q:Why do woman like Jesus so much?
A:Because he's well hung.



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