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3 bands of gold
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50 Views
11/02/09
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In the last month or so I've had to go through everything my ex and I had gathered through our years together.We divied up everthing from the house to photo albums,all without too much drama.
The only thing that I'm left to question is what to do with my
wedding,engagement and eternity rings.I've offered them back to him but he said - no I gave them to you,they are yours to do what you will.
I've come up with some ideas but none bring me any closer to a solution.I could:
Melt them down together and mould them into something else. don't like this idea because the end result will always be something associated with him.
Throw them off a bridge into a lake/river somewhere - a maybe?.
Pawn them - ?.
Give them to a lucky hobo - another maybe?.
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1st Date
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57 Views
10/09/09
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It's very rare for my head and heart to completely agree on anything, when it occured,I had no reason not to act on it.
Without much of a second thought at all I leapt onto a plane headed for Shanghai to meet J.
From the initial hug at the airport,to me, it just felt as though it was exactly what I needed.The whole trip was brilliant.
Since returning,even though I'm yet to catch up on my massive sleep debt,I feel very happy and calm.
I don't want to jinx anything that's going to happen in the near future so I'll sit back and enjoy what's unfolding right before my eyes.
I'm so glad I didn't listen to the people who gave me their opinion without me asking for it,I would have missed out on meeting this amazing new guy of mine.
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Holiday planning
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50 Views
07/27/09
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I've had more dramas in the last year than I have had in my whole life,has not been all doom and gloom but I'm tired and in need of a well earned holiday.
Have decided to visit a good friend in England who is getting married, visit some family in Cork and then meet for the very first time a friend who I've only ever spoken to on the phone and through e-mails.
I've got so many weeks of annual leave available that I've arranged for this to be a six 6 week trip.I figure 3 will be taken up by the above, but the other weeks I can't decide on...too many ideas,too many options.
Have been reading lonely planet guide books but they just make me want to go everywhere.Maybe I should get an around the world ticket?.
So I need a little help with this, let me know your ideal holiday destination and why
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My Inspirational Men
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46 Views
07/25/09
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I'm not normally one for poetry or quotes from famous people,though there will always be room for 2.
1. Bill Hicks - Whenever I'm feeling a bit down I know if I take a listen,even though I've heard it all before,I will laugh. He won't just make me giggle either,it's a complete body laugh,sometimes to the point of a tear. Bill Hicks for me is a guarantee pick me up. I loved his stance on smoking.What a brilliant mind.
2. Henry Rollins - It's been a while since I've seen him on his spoken word tours,he used to come to Oz often and I would just sit transfixed. Amazing that this massive,angry man could have such an impact on me with such beautiful words-
Somewhere someone is thinking of you.
Someone is calling you an angel.
This person is using celestial colours to paint your image.
Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind.
Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched.
How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concerntration as you give pleasure a home.
These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now.
In some airless appartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street.
Someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there.
So crystaline.
So pure.
Such life saving power when you smile.
You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds.
So sad we will never touch.
How it hurts me to know that i will never be able to give you everything i have.
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Big brother
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30 Views
07/11/09
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Had dinner with my oldest brother tonight.All went great,as it normally does,until i figured out what his real objective for the night was......to set me up with one of his church buddies!
For starters i did not even know bro still went to church! He had,what i thought was a brief fling with his god after a serious car crash in the 80's that nearly killed him,
apparently it's just been an on off thing since.
My brother and i have always had quite a stong frinendship,and he is 16years older and I'm the youngest of all the kids so the whole second father thing came into play with us.
I love people that are different from me,who challenge my normal train of thought, they are the people i want/need to be around.In saying that though,religon is something i will debate until I'm blue in the face.I just cant help it.So i can safely say that me with a god squader is a bad idea.
Maybe I'm over- reacting but considering all the late night chats/arguments we have had together over the years on this subject,I'm a tad pissed off that he would even consider this to be a good idea
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cooking
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67 Views
06/29/09
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I've fallen in love again with cooking!
I was given a slow cooker the other day,and yes i understand it's probably considered a bit sad by some people to recieve such a thing, but i was so thrilled!.I've always loved cooking but over time it's taken a back seat to more pressing life issues.I used it for the first time today and my lamb was Spectacular.
THE ALL IMPORTANT MUSIC OF CHOICE FOR THIS EVENT
NEW ORDER
KMFDM
PIXIES
THE CHURCH
TOOL
RAMMSTEIN
PORTISHEAD
Without this music i know it just would not have turned out right
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Happy
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46 Views
06/26/09
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Buddies at work decided to throw a bit of a surprise party for me tonight at the pub.I normally cringe at the thought of stuff like that but they eased me into it, so that i was not so much a bunny in the headlights.Thank christ.The room was filled with balloons and i felt so loved and appriciated.Something i have not felt in ages.These are people i work with,not people i hang around with on the weekend or even after work for that matter.I think it was just a beautiful gesture,and am now just full of love for each of them.All so stupidly drunk by the end of the night,except me though,i just don't have the need as some do to get drunk,give me a lemon lime bitters and a smoke and i'll have a great night.My tollorance for really drunk people gets smaller as the years pass by but tonight i actually held lots of peoples hair back as they spewed into the white porcelain throne.Drunken people always make me think of Bill Hicks.
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skinheads
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48 Views
06/24/09
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I'm still really weirded out about the issue/issues in my previous post.I'm struggling to even fatham how a person with beliefs like that function from day to day in a country like Australia, it's such a mulicultural country.When i think about my friends there is a massive mix of dif cultures involved,so how the hell does a guy like this have/make a friend,guess that's what he was attempting with me.
It makes me think of the movie "romper stomper".I lived in Melbourne a few years ago(why the hell did i move,yes that's a reg question for me also)anyway,there would be a group of what i think where skin heads,that went to the same club as me of a saturday night,never saw what i would consider skin headed behaviour from them though.Think i just noticed/remember them because a group of large, bald men is quite a striking thing.Oh and they used to wear matching outfits hehe.
Well the guy did call today and appologised for making me uncomfortable.I guess that was a nice thing to do,I have quite an expressive face and the shocked look on my face at the time probably shocked him into calling.No more lunch time meetings arranged.So that ends the long, rather dramatic encounter of my first meeting of somebody from here.My first attempt at meeting somebody after being with my ex for 13 years.Back on the horse i get.
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REDHEADS
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178 Views
06/20/09
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hair colour is a strange thing.....GM is the only site i have found that have women/men that actually appriciate red hair.For some reason many people deem it unattractive,seems its associated with freckles/problem skin blahblahblah.It's like anything i guess, suites some,others not so much.On the right person though it's breathtaking.I know it's a personal choice and what people find attractive will always be different from person to person.I just want everyone to know that I LOVE REDHEADS!
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music to start my day
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27 Views
05/27/09
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ok.....i walk to work each day and always try to have something new,so today was=wumpscut-christfuck,insurge-ak 47,a perfect circle-judith,filter-hey man nice shot,jane's addiction-classic girl,kmfdm-money,nin-get down make love,nin-wish,the knife-heartbeats,pixies-where is my mind. sorry i wrote it stupid,it was a great way to start the day though.i'm really looking forward to reading other peoples lists
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I LOVE NIN!
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30 Views
05/21/09
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I'm curious as to when my life is going to start being interesting.When am i going to start feeling alive!.It's been so long that i can't even remember what it feels like anymore.There is drama,but that's not the same thing though.All i seem to do is go to work,have dinner,go to bed and repeat it over and over.Am i missing a vital ingredient that allows me to have fun.Nothing makes me feel anymore......i feel numb.If it was not for NIN my life would be even more shit!.I take it back!When i listen to NIN i do feel....sad but it's still a feeling i guess.That music still,after all of these years makes my heart flutter.I know that may sound "wanky" but it's true.No other band does that for me.They amaze me to no end.After writting this i don't actually feel so bad!.That's just fucking amazing isnt it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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