Quoting Noodles123:

Is what I mumbled as I awoke from my nightmare of fighting giant teddy bears...I slowly got up rubbed my eyes and suddenly had a craving for a Breakfast ... Hot Pockets with the Mystery Meat and the sweet Mystery Sauce...That I believe only had about 400 ingredients...MMMM turpentine flavored sauce!  :)
 
Got up and started my coffee while I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and glance and flexed at myself in the mirror all peacock like..."You Sexy Beast"-I murmurred and then tried to give my "Blue Steel" glance  Damn I thought not a day over 41...Papi!  
 
Then I remembered I WAS 41...Alas...That look used to be my bread and butter. :(
 
You know the one that used to drop panties on women and one very confused mohawked Australian from Melborne (Who for the record will NOT return my wooden clogs!)...Doesn't he understand if he doesn't have the cash I don't have the...Oh wait...Errrm I meant doesn't he get it that no means no?
 
Anyways as I checked my stocks and T-Bills ... I knew it was going to be a good day...And by stocks and T-Bills I mean Asian porn sites and Celebrity News sites...Who knew Will Smith was pregnant or that Celine Dion was hospitiliazed after her fat head full of ego nearly crushed her to death?  Shocking I thought...Has someone informed the French Canadians?
 
I sat and mixed my coffee while attempting to look as suave and sophisticated as a man can look while wearing Oscar the Grouch PJ's and knee high black socks...(And for the ladies)...No undies...Commando just like the movie..."Get to da choppa!"
 
Why couldn't I win Super Lotto raced through my head...I was Hispanic...I do have an accent...Oh the silk Virgin Mary Shirts I'd buy with that money and probably some sort of gaudy belt that had a solid gold belt buckle shaped like a scorpian...Plus hey someone has to help all those single moms working in strip joints pay for college...One $5 dollar tip at a time...It's my duty as an American.
 
For the troops.
 
Well as I took the last sip of my coffee I knew time had come...To stand my sweet fat ass and get ready for work...Grumble grumble.
 

Is what I mumbled as I awoke from my nightmare of fighting giant teddy bears...I slowly got up rubbed my eyes and suddenly had a craving for a Breakfast ... Hot Pockets with the Mystery Meat and the sweet Mystery Sauce...That I believe only had about 400 ingredients...MMMM turpentine flavored sauce!  :)
 
Got up and started my coffee while I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and glance and flexed at myself in the mirror all peacock like..."You Sexy Beast"-I murmurred and then tried to give my "Blue Steel" g lan ce  Damn I thought not a day over 41...Papi!  
 
Then I remembered I WAS 41...Alas...That look used to be my bread and butter. :(
 
You know the one that used to drop panties on women and one very confused mohawked Australian from Melborne (Who for the record will NOT return my wooden clogs!)...Doesn't he understand if he doesn't have the cash I don't have the ...Oh wait...Errrm I meant doesn't he get it that no means no?
 
Anyways as I checked my stocks and T-Bills ... I knew it was going to be a good day...And by stocks and T-Bills I mean Asian porn sites and Celebrity News sites...Who knew Will Smith was pregnant or that Celine Dion was hospitiliazed after her fat head full of ego nearly crushed her to death?  Shocking I thought...Has someone informed the French Canadians?
 
I sat and mixed my coffee while attempting to look as suave and sophisticated as a man can look while wearing Oscar the Grouch PJ's and knee high black socks...(And for the ladies)...No undies...Commando just like the movie..."Get to da choppa !"
 
Why couldn't I win Super Lotto raced through my head...I was Hispanic...I do have an accent...Oh the silk Virgin Mary Shirts I'd buy with that money and probably some sort of gaudy belt that had a solid gold belt buckle shaped like a scorpian...Plus hey someone has to help all those single moms working in strip joints pay for college...One $5 dollar tip at a time...It's my duty as an American.
 
For the troops.
 
Well as I took the last sip of my coffee I knew time had come...To stand my sweet fat ass and get ready for work...Grumble grumble.
 

Quoting Noodles123:

 

 

Hehe I actually have the shirt.  :P

Quoting AngelicalSwan:

☼ rise and shine lol har har

☼ rise and shine lol har har