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That one...
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35 Views
03/25/10
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You know the one I'm talking about. The one that you'd probably still be with if it weren't for circumstances that viciously tore you apart. The one you still love, but can't have. The one that still loves you...but you both know another attempt could never be as sweet as the first. It hurts to talk to one another, to know what new people are coming in and out of your lives. But at the same time if you don't talk, a void opens up in your heart like something is missing.
I'm currently in a wonderful relationship with an amazing guy. I never thought I could love anybody this much since "that one". So why do I still have these feelings? Will they ever go away?
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Speak your mind
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48 Views
03/08/10
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Sick of people. Sick of how they act, how they talk. It's all bullshit. Why put on a mask? Why hide yourself from society? Why can't we just say what we want to say...without consequence. Say how you feel!! Don't make up some bogus bullshit in order to please somebody.
If you love somebody, don't be afriad to say "I love you" because you think it might scare them. If that's what is in your heart, then say it!
Don't like somebody? Fine. Say it! Don't waste your time being 'nice' to their face then talking bad behind thier back. What's the point?
Human behaviour is fucked up.
~~Nothing really "sparked" this. Just thoughts that run through my head at random.
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Smelly!
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27 Views
02/17/10
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As humans we base most everything we find appealing on sight. Simply because it's easiest and most people aren't always fully conscious of our other senses.
On the other hand, we have MANY more genes linked to smell than we do to sight. Familiar smells can be comforting, or bring back a rush of memories from something from your childhood.
Whether consciously or not, our attractions to other people are mostly based on how that person smells. No, I'm not talking about what kind of perfume or body spray they wear...just raw human flesh. Everybody gives off their own unique scent. Aside from looks, brains, personality, blah blah blah SCENT is what you'll find is most attractive about your partner.
Get your sniffers ready!
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Things that terrify me...
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36 Views
02/16/10
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1) Small spiders...for some reason I can handle the bigger ones.
2) Clowns...something about a grown man/woman in a disguise who loves children that just doesn't sit well with me.
3) Midgets...I know this might sound shallow, but little people scare me.
4) Animals that make other-worldly sounds.
5) Porcelain dolls...and no it's not because of any horror movie.
6) Howling wind in the middle of the night.
7) Birds.
8) Men that are "too" nice...always feel as though they might have murdered their granny with a hammer and the niceness is a cover.
Eight things, that's not so bad right? Then again, these are things that terrify me, not things that scare me shitless. haha!
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Poor, sickly child. =(
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36 Views
02/02/10
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On cloud nine from my new found love, but something is wrong.
I get sick in the mornings and it lasts most of the day. I can't seem to keep any kind of food in my tummy. Suspicious of pregnancy, I went to see my girly doctor to have a test done. Negative. I don't know what else it could be...I don't get worried about myself often, but this is starting to scare me.
Positive thoughts and vibes are greatly appreciated.
Oh, and if anybody has ANY ideas as to what it might be, let me know. I hate having to go to the doctors.
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Goodness I'm Cheesy...
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50 Views
01/19/10
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Don't expect many to read this.
Thoughts I want to say in person, but can't manage the words.
I'm not the kind of person to get choked up...but...well....
It's a feeling that's so hard to explain. When i'm around you I truly feel like I can be myself, that I have nothing to hide. I've never felt more comfortable around another human being. Ever. But at the same time you make my heart race and my breath quicken, my mind locks up, I stutter, and all of the things I want to say to you just won't come out.
I want you to know that I love you. Plain and simple-because God knows, nothing about our relationship will be simple (or plain for that matter!). I can stand not knowing certain things about you. I can handle not seeing you for any extended period of time. I can live with the thought that some day, something might happen, and you won't be coming back to me. None of these things do I WANT to do. You said to me, "There comes a time when we have to choose that which is easy, or that which is right." I choose to be with you because it IS right. You're what I want. You have my heart, my love.
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It's time
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30 Views
01/10/10
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I'm not going to call this my "New Year's resolution"...those things never work out. However, I have decided that 2010 is going to be the year that I transform my body. A transformation that will hopefully turn into a new, more healthy lifestyle.
I've been a "big girl" my entire life. Once I got past all the jokes and narrow minded people and was able to say "fuck you, this is how I am" being bigger isn't that big of a deal. I've been lucky enough in my life to have found people that are willing to accept me for who I am. And everything was okay with me. Until a few days ago. As I stood naked in front of the mirror after my shower, I realized how bad I really looked. I had been toying with the idea of losing weight for a long time, but now I'm finally determined. I finally have the motivation and I'm going to do it.
Luck is very much appreciated!!
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Married???
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74 Views
01/06/10
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I love the feeling of getting to meet somebody new online. Seeing as how I'm more of a hermit than a social butterfly, I find it exhilarating when I meet somebody new on a dating site. (especially Gothic Match)
What I don't understand is those individuals who make up profiles that say they're single when really...they're married. WTF is this?! Did you think you would get in good with me, convince me that you like me, hell we might even go on a date and cop a feel! But whoa, back it up, you're married? Did you think I'd be okay with this just because I liked you? No I will not be your "dark mistress of the night". I happen to have standards, unlike you who is sleezing around on your wife online. Pig.
Anybody else have instances like this?
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Stressssss
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23 Views
05/03/09
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Two weeks of pure hell, and it's not over yet!
School is terrible, these last few weeks of studies have drained everything I have. Good news is that starting Monday, it's finals week. Or is that good news? Yes, besides the stress of actually having to take these tests.
Leaving for Utah on May 20th, took all my money to get the plane ticket. Therefore, stressed about money.
Stressed over my relationship being a long distance one. Worried it won't work, even though I try to keep thinking positive. It's really hard when you find out you won't be able to see each other like you had planned.
Just plain stressed about being stressed! Wishing it would all just melt away...I started smoking again...not good. And my skin looks like a can of tomato sauce exploded on it. Break-outs are a bitch.
I appologize for being such a downer. F*ck my life.
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Dance with me?
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145 Views
04/02/09
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As some of you may know, I attend college here in faire ye olde Pennsylvania. I was recently taking a ballroom dance class. It was the most fun I have ever had doing physical activity! lol. Sadly, it ended today. =( But I had a good time, made new friends, and had an amazing dance partner (we're actually VERY good dancers). Hopefully I remember what I learned.
So, would anybody like to dance?
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Successssss
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58 Views
03/16/09
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I would like to report a GM success!
Three years in the making, I finally met the man of my dreams. I hate to get all mushy about it, but he is everything (and more) than I ever could ever ask for. I finally found somebody I can unleash my inner-dork to!
One downside, however, he lives in Florida and I live in Pennsylvania. I've never been in a long distance relationship before. Any advice?
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What do you believe?
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46 Views
02/22/09
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I realize I might be getting myself into a pickle by asking this question, but I'm generally a very curious person and I would like to know. That is, if you feel like sharing.
What are you beliefs of the after-life? Do you believe in God or Buddha? Are you in tune with your inner-witch, or simply have no oppinion of the subject.
I would like to know.
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Children...
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54 Views
02/12/09
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So I've noticed this weird phenominon that seems to be happening rather frequently in the past years. What I'm talking about is how kids act these days. I was "fortunate" enough to spend part of my day with several children, ranging from five to ten years old. Every single one of them swore and didn't think twice about it, even in public! It's the weirdest thing to hear a five year old swear. Now, I realize that their parents are to blame, but I'm only 19 and when I was younger my mother used to wash my mouth out with soap! Do parents not do that anymore? What gives?
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Thank you for choosing Delta Airlines...
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25 Views
12/23/08
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Haha, you're welcome, but I doubt I'll fly with you again. Even though I've ALWAYS flown Delta, this one experience ruined it all for me.
Flying is starting to become so much more of a hassle than it should be; I was able to find that out first hand while flying home for Christmas. There I was, on the 21st of December, waiting in line to check my one suitcase and get my boarding pass. Wouldn't you know it, there was one guy working. One. And about 50 people in line! The wait was rediculous...I would have thought this time of year they would have had more people working. Security went smoothly, but what bugs me is you basically have to strip: no shoes, no jacket, no belt, around total strangers. Awkward. I wonder how dirty those little trays they give you get?
The flight was terrible and did you know you have to pay for practically EVERYTHING now? This particular flight didn't even offer a complimentary in-flight movie, you had to pay $6 to watch one. Six freakin dollars! I could buy the damn thing at Wal Mart for that much! Also on this flight you got one free drink, everything else after that had to be paid for. $2. Snacks you had to buy...upwards of $6. I know the airlines aren't doing so hot right now, but that was fucking rediculous!
Plus, I got stuck between Mr. Drools While He Sleeps and Miss Has Panic Attacks During Turbulance. Just my luck.
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Consumerist Pigs
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29 Views
12/21/08
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Yes, I'm talking to you, America!
I do realize that all of us are consumerists, even if we try to deny it, I know I certainly am...but there needs to be a place where we draw the line. You would think that will all the corporate bail outs and companies going under, people would get the hint: We are in a recession! Nobody seems to notice, I drove past the mall the other day and the parking lot was PACKED. Granted, it's the holidays, but still! People don't realize that while they might be able to afford that new vehicle or flat screen TV right now, things are going to get worse and they're going to regret it later. Stop buying shit, America! Save some money for your retirement because, god knows, your 401K's are probably dropping out from underneath you and Social Security benefits simply won't exist ten years from now.
-I feel so much better now. =)
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Cell Phones
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64 Views
12/14/08
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I believe that in todays day and age cell phones are a necessity, but some people manage to take cell phone usage a step further to seemingly annoy the hell out of the rest of us. There are many ways people do this, talking in resturants, while driving, or even answering while in class! But this, by far, is the worst, and I'm dumbfounded that ANYBODY would do this...
I was in the restroom the other day, minding my own business when another woman walks in on her cell phone. That's not so bad, I figured she would hang up. Nope. She continued her conversation while peeing! First of all, I don't want to hear about how trashed you got on Saturday night anyway, I DEFINITELY don't want to hear about it while in the restroom! Secondly, how dumb do you think the person on the other line is?! Do you really think they can't hear you peeing? Or the toilet flush? That would gross me out! How hard would it have been to say, "I'll call you back in a minute" and hang up while you emptied yourself? Seriously. People never cease to piss me off...
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