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All Classy Like
5 Views
06/12/13
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So today I'm hot, hungry and didn't feel like either cooking so I tell the wife that when she's off to give me a call...I'm expecting to swing by In & Out and grab some burgers and fries and go back home...Sooooooooo I'm dressed in slippers, black socks, a dirty white shirt with 2 holes and sweats.
In other words I look like the crazy homeless guy that sits near the library masterbating with peanut butter who also wears a black trash bag when it rains.
The wife swoops by dressed in high heels, a tight lil brown dress and her hair all straightened looking all good...She then says "Lets eat inside...It's so hot."
I remind her that I look like some sort of autistic genius who can't dressed himself but can do calculus in his head without pen and paper...She whines...So I gave in.
So in we walk in...Probably the oddest couple ever at that restraunt...I saw the cashier kinda glance and tried to look like he hadn't...Men and women gawked at my wife and probably wondered if maybe I was famous, rich, she had lost a bet, I was her slightly mentally handicap ward or I had kidnapped her...I like to think it was for my large penis but what do I know?...I was raised Catholic.
Grrrrrr next time...I wear decent clothes.
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Love = Most Overused Word Ever
3 Views
06/12/13
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"I LOVE strawberries!"
"I LOVE that girl at the Starbucks she always gets my order just right!"
"I LOVE you!"
Errrrm WTF? Would you be willing to die for strawberries? Do you really love that girl barrista when you don't even know her name? Is the guy you just met who you banged after he smoked you out, who lives with 4 roomies and who's room smells of pot, beer and semen REALLY the new love of your life?
Why do so many people cheapen the word which is ment to represent the thing that means the most to you? The thing you would defend, save, cry about, miss with all your heart?
Because people are fucking idiots...And everything is lite and nothing matters like it did before.
I've had loves that have lasted in my memories for years while those people ended up sleeping with a new set of loves every 2-3 months...Comes with the new generation that says the right things but their actions never match their words.
Now I'm not one to mince words, I was a rotten BF, bad 1st Husband, drunk and pretty much a male whore but I never took the word "LOVE" in vain...If I said it I ment it and if I ment it and it didn't work out my heart would hurt for years...No matter what I did to try to replace it.
So all I'm saying if a sleazeball like me can actually respect the word and what it stands for then WTF is your problem?
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Time To Lay Low
3 Views
06/11/13
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Ever watch that movie where the good guy who's like a bank robber says "I'm going to lay low for awhile till this shit blows over?"
Well 2 days into my new joint and that's what I'm going to do...As before I ran fast and tried to get to the top of the mountain, I see this place as where many people will wreck on the ocean reefs as they go towards the sirens.
I cannot even describe the huge undertaking of this place, the work on it and the total bondoggle waste of money on very odd details...With over 23 different prisons sending cops and 3 agencies running the place this will be either a great triumph for all or an incredible mess.
I fear it will be the second...No one has any idea of what is to happen or how it's supposed to happen...If I step up now I think I'll be put with the "Guys that fucked it up group" versus wait a minute let the dust settle and be in the "Guys I can count to fix this fucking mess."
I HAVE NEVER seen such a high tech place...It's surreal...Yet at the same time so utterlly unprepared...Too bad bosses are very nice and hyped but man this is one big apple to bit into.
All I can do is wait survive the waves of mistakes and keep my area on the up and up.
On a sad note, I have not even thought often of my old place...Which I found odd being I was there 12 years...I was actually hoping to shed a tear because I figure it be cathartic...Seriously...There is no shame in crying in order to bury the past and start fresh.
I left many things unfinished at my old joint, but so many were just sad dramas or silly fights...Maybe it was for the best...I'm no longer nervous after seeing the competition, I can handle what evil comes my way...Just have to stay quiet for a lil longer.
Light a candle for old Noodles...Wait you gys are Goths so no good Catholics in the bunch?...Errrm then play with some crystals and light some sage while saying an ancient Wicca blessing chant for me then :P
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Chemical Reaction = Happiness
4 Views
06/09/13
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So as before I believed that happiness was a combination of endorphines mixed with pushing yourself I in my old wise age have decided to reaccess my theory and say "Bullocks!"
I NOW believe that it maybe as high as 75% chemical...Thinking back I remember being in amazing places, doing amazing things and being miserable as fuck because I was missing someone.
Right now I'm in a beauiful house, typing on a beautiful tile kitchen island, drinking delicious coffee with my muffin, with people who love me but I'm feeling a lil down because I moved from my old work place.
I KNOW that come Monday I'll be in a new joint, all clean cut, in a new uniform, looking all bright eyed and bushy tailed...I KNOW that my home life will be much better and that I was finally able to condense the two households I ran which means a lil extra cash at the end of the month...I KNOW that the future is bright BUT the chemical reaction that makes me the usual happy go lucky douche hasn't kicked in.
I've been trying to shake it off...Not a feeling of gloom just like a small sadness right above my eyes...Working 12 years at my last joint had been special, I had friends die, I made friendships, enemies, incredible memories...There's a difference when every alarm can actually be someone getting stabbed or having to jump into a fight where your only thought is to go save your fucking partner and NOW?...Probably pushing wheelchairs for inmates in diapers who are at a hospice about to die off or crazy inmates who refuse to take their meds...Weeeee! (sarcasm).
There is a bit of a let down...Feels like I'm retiring even though I'm still quite young ("And handsome!!!"-Yelled Mohawk73 with a soft tear in his eye).
Anyways, not a gloomy, ungrateful person and there is much to be happy about...So need to whack this sadness and shake this shit off me like water off a duck's back.
On a positive note...Back in the gym, almost back to my high school weight, my fat dogs are crazy happy, the family is smiling and minor issues are getting fixed really quick.
However, in the end it's about zooming on my endorphines at the levels I had got accoustumed to for so long...It's so odd that happiness isn't based on what you have, whom you have, where you're at in life but so much is on a very tiny tiny hormone being dripped to the brain at the right levels.
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Grrrrrrrrr >:(
2 Views
06/04/13
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Wrote a bad ass blog that even used a pun on "anal" and "annals" and when I sent it to post it got erased!
This was my MonaLisa, my David, my bacon milk shake...Indeed it was my masterpiece! (Masterpiece???Another nickname for my penis you ask?...Yes indeed goes on the list kept on my fridge door)
So I could write it again how Scent + Chemical Reaction = Love but ehhhhhh...Ain't nobody got time for dat!
Actually it was a well written blog that is down the rabbit hole of time...Hopefully, a different Noodles in a parallel universe has a newer computer than me and was able to fix the malfunction and send it...Probably the parallel universe where I'm not just known for my amazing love making skills but my great cooking skills...Errrm and for not lying about my love making skills but whatever!
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Why I Drink Like A Man
1 Views
06/01/13
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Shots?...Sure.
Old Man Drinks? (Martini's, 7 and Seven etc)...Sure.
Wine?...Of course.
But beer?...Errrm hell no.
Is it my fine taste buds that can't stand fermenting hops and barley?...No.
Is it that it affects the elephantitis of my testicles...No and just for the record it doesn't cause my nipples to lactate those were lies spread by Mohawk73 in a fit of anger when I refuse to give him back his Olivia Newton John records...Why records you ask?...(Using naselly hipster white boy voice) "Everything sounds better in wax."
Reason is (Head down in shame) I have the bladder of a pregnant inner city black girl named Diamond or an Hispanic one called Maria...I can't help it!...(The bladder thing not the racism)...I literally have to pee like 3 times with one beer instead I usually do shots and have one beer as a chaser...I have no idea why???
I can drink soda, juice, water just fine but beer is my archnemesis...So I used to play it off as I did whiskey, bourbon, scotch while my friends did beer with eyes of amazment as I drank like a man for a few more dollars than their nasty ass keg beer...But now you know my secret and my shame.
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The Great Gatsby Rehash
7 Views
05/31/13
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Loved this book back in Junior High when I read it of course that was a few (Stop your damn giggling) years ago...When I was young, skinny and beautiful...(Hey I said stop your laughing!).
So by now I remember the premise but had forgot the details...So when the remake came out recently I took the wife to view it and WOW...An amazing story so realistic you'd think you could feel the vibe, hear the music, smell the alcohol...The visuals were amazing.
The story was just as the book and sadly enough I saw in certain parts a piece of me on the screen...Obviously not rich, infamous, handsome or any of that...But I literally felt sadness and disgust for the Gatsby character.
I could understand his struggle to rise above the poverty and sadness where he came out of...I saw his intense desire to reinvent himself by pushing himself into a million good and bad experiences...I get that.
Hell I even get the wanting someone so bad that nothing fills the empty hole in your heart...It happens to anyone with a heart and who's loved someone truely.
The part where he disgusted me was at his neediness...Maybe I saw something of myself from the past there....Watching a man who rose so high with so much opportunity toss it for a girl who neither understood it nor did anything for him besides be a bed companion while he wined and dined her.
Been there too...Playing myself into a corner where I was an option not the priority then having to walk away because I wasn't appreciated and then called names on the way out...Because obviously I should have stayed longer to please someone rather then get some of that love back (sarcasm).
As I was watching it I saw the blasted follies that we all have to go through in our youth to become REAL adults not just be old and childish...Although due to my long first marriage I didn't get out of the way till my middle 30's.
Man. watching the movie made me reflect WHICH is a GREAT thing...But it also made me sad at how I was in the past...Never begging, never clingy but I do remember asking for certain things at times and looking back I see that if the other person HAD loved me then I shouldn't have had to ask.
So learn from me my lil chickidees...If he or she doesn't want to be labled as a BF/GF...If they have issues making long term plans...If you never get to meet their parents or they meet yours...If you constantly take care of them or surprise them and they don't and finally if the sex isn't amazing or they're lazy in bed?...BREAK UP with them, walk away and have no contact with them.
Sad but true...In the book and movie the girl basically played both sides even though she knew who loved her and took care of her...She left without even saying good bye to his body at the funeral after he was willing to take the blame...So way I see it she loved being chased and loved but she really hadn't given him anything...He risked and hustled she was just there for the good times as long as they lasted.
Looking back I can say I barely learned that lesson...That I can be thankful for the lesson learned but truth is even if I wasn't married that I don't want anything with those who meant the world to me at one time...Goes against every poem/song/book/movie you read or see but it's the truth.
If you love someone and they're toxic, cut them off and walk away even if your heart aches...Trust me nothing worst than playing the fool or getting used or staying around hoping that person changes or recognizes.
I wasted much time replaying the past while doing it in the present...Fuck em...This world is a big bright blue marble and so much to see when you do meet someone who appreciates you.
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I F*cking Need That Hitler Teapot!
4 Views
05/30/13
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So JC Penny decides to put up an ad to sell a tea pot with a bell and whistle that rings and tweets when the water gets hot AND if you're drunk enough looks like Hitler saluting?
O.M.G...I practically got hard after hearing about it...Ok ok maybe I DID get hard but don't judge!
But alas they SOLD OUT overnight.
Why tease me JC Penny?...Why let me know what heaven is and then snatch it like my love for Big Macs?...My heart hurts more than that time with that female midget, the tube of Ben Gay, the 3 microwaved cantaloupes and the weird dude wearing that UPS uniform with no shoes.
I saw them already online but the bidding will almost double the price...I'm going to have to wait until interest wanes and I can order it at the store and they give me a raincheck.
Now if they only made a Mussolini Pannini Maker, a Pol Pot for soups and a Stalin toaster!
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Why Love Ends II
5 Views
05/19/13
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-------CONTINUATION--------
As stupid and New Age as this sounds...YOU make your reality...Do you really think hoping and praying for Prince Charming will happen if you sit back and wait?
Why is it we all believe to be unique here but all I see is just slight different shades to the same type of ice cream?...Why is no one pissed off at the blandness that permenates even this so-called punk/goth/emo community?...Where people believe they are what they're not...Where because they dress goth or punk they believe themselves to be that even though when the time comes they're as bland as baby food?
To end this rant I will quote one of my favorite lines from a movie that pretty much sums up my feelings as I watch people around me, be they friends, coworkers, family and strangers breath but not live:
"Man, I see the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering.
God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.
We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war...Our Great Depression is our lives.
We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."
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Why Love Ends I
7 Views
05/19/13
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...Because one person loves more than the other...Because one starts to take things for Granted...Abuse/Selfishness are actually someone taking you for granted assuming that you'll shut up and take it because they own you.
And it ends...For some here it'll take months or years to move on but for many though they are there in body they gave up a long time ago..They're there because they're scared to be alone or have no place to go, kids, family, job, home, school etc.
I know so many couples that are actually roommates that it's actually heartbreaking...Just partners in obligations with some minor affection if that.
Doesn't matter how Hot you are/What you have/Even if the sex is hot it all ends if it's crap...In fact sometimes pretty women and handsome men get hurt more than you think...Those that get chased the most are often fooled the most.
If you read the profiles ANYWHERE...You'll see the level of hurt, anger, games people play by both men and women...Maybe the games were always there but now due to internet or cellphones they all come up...Technology is breaking us down socially...I'm contemplating giving up my cell and living without an electronic leash...Giving up TV and limiting my computer time...Change comes to the bold.
How would I be if the 2-3 hours I spend on here or watching TV I lifted heavy weights again or ran 2-3 miles a day like I used to at the academy?
So I read and read...Prep and prep because last thing I want is to be fucked up because of my own carelessness...I've made more mistakes than two handfuls of you combined and spent my 20's drowning my sadness at the bottom of many a liquor bottles in many a dives, strip joints and houses of ill repute...Till I found what I had been looking for...Doesn't mean the story ends.
If you don't water your love then it dries up...If you don't surprise, zig and zag every now it gets old...If you let yourself go attraction will fly...You have to push, you can rest but never stop pushing...Why be one more average, vanilla motherfucker who thinks he's different because he has some tats, purple hair and hangs out at the Hipster Cafe?...Or cool because you have a nice body and the DJ at the raves wants to drop E with you and fuck you?
Make new memories...Make new real loves...The kind that stay in your life even if it ends...Not end up in a ball of fights, crying and harsh texts at 3 in the morning.
I used to be quite the Duckie/Nerdy/Silent but tough Punk Kid who wore his heart on his sleeve kind of guy...All that did was invite much sadness and a rollercoaster of ups and downs that fucked me up.
What changed?...I finally UNDERSTOOD that love is chemical...That happiness can be had ANYWHERE...It's all a mental change in your preception...It's moving away the curtain of fuzziness that affection sometimes drapes over someone when we like them...It's understanding that Love SHOULDN'T make you weak, that being subservant ISN'T admirable, that pining for someone who took you for granted IS stupid.
It's that life and love can be had TODAY...Right NOW...If you are willing to get up off your fat ass, clean up, dress up and go out there...Doesn't always work right away but I'm telling you it works.
If you like someone instead of going in circles...Why not just tell them and see their reaction?...Make your life into that movie instead of sitting back watching the world go by.
Shy?...Take a deep breath and try.
Poor?...Toss everything but the basics and be quirky.
Out of shape?...Diet and exercise.
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Ye Gods! More Bad Profiles!?
9 Views
05/17/13
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Sweet Jesus!...Yes the carpenter guy not the Mexican dude who's the dishwasher at that Chinese restraunt where all the cats disappear...(Has anyone seen Mr. Mittens?)...Why do people write such horrible profiles?
When did spelling become an option?...Why is fat the new average?...Why is average the new slim?...Why do I like to put three periods at the end of any comment I write?...Why is my penis my friend and enemy?...So many questions...Alas.
Anyways, I like to see what's going on in the blogs because I basically troll the place like they pay me...I love good writers, storytellers and the love of a good midget joke...Cue the Italians!
So I read, peek at pics and often try to decipher what the hell went wrong?...People seem to have the "Dr. Jekyle/Mr. Hyde" attitude when doing their profiles...Either they go buckwild and add lasers and a fog machine to their profile or they write 3 words, 1 fuzzy pic taken at night, through a window screen, using a 1960's Vladmir Russian 35mm camara and lots of "IDK's."
They write about how they don't care...Which means they care.
They write about how they are awesome and unique and no one will ever be as unique as them...But they're not.
They talk about art, music, movies that others have done but nothing THEY'VE done.
The KILLER?...Writing how they're writers but never write anything nor show any sense of style in their profile formats.
I seriously don't care if a profile is sexual, deviant, harsh, blunt, racist, chauvanistic as long as you do it with style and some Matzo Balls...Tell me about Hipster Hitler, Red Meat, quote Henry Rollins, Chairmen Mao, tell me about your purchase of old school handcuffs or that anal thermometer you picked up at the flea market (Please wash before using Mohawk73)...Just give me something that says this person is more than some cute pics.
Dazzle don't diddle...Which will be my the name of my new song which I will dedicate to Taylor Swift in a drunk madcap rant which ends up with me pantless in her pool and security chasing me...But what do I know?...I was raised Catholic.
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Walking The Razor's Edge
6 Views
05/12/13
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As I get older my brain synapses start to slow down between my dendrites and my axons.
N123: "Yeah I said "Axons" what an Hispanic Boy can't say medically techincal terms without people judging him? Racists!"
Mohawk72: "Noodles don't you often make racist, sterotype, bias, generalizing, chauvanistic comments about others?
N123: "How dare you bring up the past Mo!...I was under (Fill in the blank: Influence of a flatulant African Witch, drugs, cold meds, Jedi Mind Trick, PacMan Fever, stress, the love of a good midget)...That was then this is now!" (I said in a huff)
Anyways, back to point...So I often get myself confused and say shit I shouldn't, EVEN though I kinda sorta know I shouldn't, but because I think it be hilarious to say it...Case in point going somewhere not too long ago with someone and as the person was closing the door and I was starting the car I may have said "Just get your fat ass in here!" (With a smile and a laugh)
The reason I said it was because this person is lean, curvy and fucking sexy (No not you Mohawk73...In a hush tone...I'll call you later)...She looked beautiful and had a shape most teen girls would wish for...So I thought being ironic was the way to go.
Ask me how that went for me?...No bueno, mi amigo...I was scolded, scolded and once again scolded...Making me feel about 8" tall (Notto be confused with length...Plus it's all about girth...Errrm ask your sister)...Anyways, REALLY have to start watching what I say cus it's going to get Poor Old Noodles in a pickle.
Yup yup seems I learned from my mistakes.
The End?
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Serendipity
8 Views
05/10/13
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No not the title of my new one man show...With me giving a nude performance while quoting the "Vagina Monologues" and for some reason the "Tears in the rain" speech by the bad guy in BladeRunner...It's just the thought that happy things are here and more are coming...Or so it seems (Cue evil organ music).
Now I'm a huge believer in "Streaks" which to me are incredible runs of good luck...However, I'm a believer in Karma though I do believe there has to be some sort of balance though...Just like not every day can have rain, not everyday can be full of sunshine.
Lately I've felt scared to fly too high because lets be honest here the fall can hurt sooooo bad...Now I've always believed that sometimes you have to dance like you're not tired, you have to laugh like you've never been hurt but that doesn't mean I want to walk blind into a situation.
As I'm laying here watching a scary Spanish horror movie, with a fat lil dog snoring at my side and my gato at my feet I feel at ease and I can accept that my party days are gone...That I will never be in a room full of midgets shooting up heroin while on unicycles while they try to feed me grapes as I'm wearing my toga laying sideways trying to look sexy and ya know what?...I'm okay with that.
Life is no longer a rollercoaster and people in my life no longer control me or my reactions...I am the master to how, when and where I am in life and I like it.
The crazy excitement is ebbed but so have all those lonely days and nights I spent pretending I was tough or this or that girl hadn't hurt me...Sometimes sweet stabilty is nice...So I hope all the those with a lil ache in their souls take heart because all things pass and sooner or later there is a light if you push hard enough.
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Noodles Tips For Older Guys Who Want To Date Younger Women
8 Views
04/28/13
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Now I have a track record as good as the NASA Space Shuttle Program...God knows I have dated some insane young women who fucked me up...Although I have to say it was exciting, amazing, yet in the end bittersweet.
However, I do have experience with the subject until I tricked showed my wife that I was NOT insane I can be a wonderful Noodles and she fell for it realized what a catch I was...Even though I was waaaay too old for her fine ass set in my ways sometimes.
So I don't just talk the talk I walk the walk...If I said it as part of my life then I meant it and have found something in it that works for me so pay attention my Young Padawans...Yeah I'm quoting Star Wars so what?...I actually saw it in the theater when it came out in 1977 so take that ya jealous nerds with your God awful prequels...(Said Noodles in a huff).
1. Look good no matter your age...There is no reason to be fat and dumpy looking unless you have an illness...Nothing sadder than 20-30 year olds with the bodies of middle age men...Looking all sloppy and out of shape...Diet down and do some walking/bike riding.
2. Dress well...I get into ruts lately wwith the whole jeans/boots/t-shirt thing so going to jazz it up. I will be tossing ANYTHING that looks average in my closet...If you look okay in it then it's time for it to go.
3. Dress your Goddamn age!...(Unless it's me and I'm wearing a skin tight shirt to show off my arms...Then hypocritically make THAT the exception to the rule)...But you know what I'm talking about...Stop wearing skinny jeans if you were old enough to vote for Clinton...If you voted for Reagan or Bush Sr DO NOT wear latex or leather pants to the club...It looks sad and only Trent from NIN can pull that off...No Affliction/Ed Hardy shirts with Dragons/Skulls or some bullshit band that you never listen to but want to appear cool by wearing...Ya hear me Mohawk73 with you Celine Dion concert t-shirt!
4. If you're balding?...PLEASE shave your head...Quit wasting time and brining tears to my eyes...Shave that shit.
5. You kinda have to drive a cool car...If you're in a Smart Car or some tiny gas saver car you'll secretly lose points even from hippie girls.
6. Show some manners, know what side of the street you're supposed to be on, open doors, wait to eat till she's there, PAY FOR THE WHOLE THING, doesn't matter if it's movies, drinks, dinner etc...Can't STAND to see women paying for their broke ass or cheap boyfriend...Don't be that guy...If you don't have the cash then make it a fun date which brings me to #7.
7. GO ON DATES...Every other woman here has never really gone on a date...They hung out or got some drinks and grabbed some food...Be different...Take them out...No not to Taco Bell either a NICE place where you can talk to not try to talk over people.
8. Don't be creepy...Leave the S & M, love for anal, midgets, enema conversation for another day...Talk about silly things not the plight of Palestanian children living in Gaza or the AIDs rate in Uganda...No one wants to hear about that on a date.
9. Prim/Trim/Snip/Clean the car...Messy is the new cool I know as half the singers look one step above homeless but be sleek
10. Humour...If you're not a happy person then don't do anything I said because all you'll do is force it...You have to be relaxed and mellow to enjoy a date as it comes.
11...Lastly stop lying about your age...If you're 35 stop pretending you're 29 it looks bad...Ya you heard me and you know who you are >:(
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Sugar Babies (Paid Girlfriends)
10 Views
04/22/13
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Reading an article on Sugar Babies...Seems to be an epedemic of young girlies spending time with Old Goats my age not based on love, lust or attraction but for monetary terms.
Young college girls wanting to have before they earn are seeking mutually beneficial relationships for material things...Going out for an IPhone, a new Coach Bag, a small vacation etc..
I knew a couple of girls who did the camming/video thing to suppliment their incomes and sadly enough they all changed and not for the good...Heads got inflated, ideals were lost, morals were crossed and self esteem was crushed...Now this is coming from a guy who used to deal in the sleazy and even I'm telling you "it's bad."
As before like most men I dated younger, but it was out of mutual attraction not to have some sort of Semi Kept Woman...Now it is a double sided story:
What if you're young and tired of cheap, dirty, young assholes and want to be spoiled?...Fine look for someone who you WANT TO BE WITH who's older.
The thing was from the article most of these girls were doing it with whomever could pay the cover price...They were looking at selling pieces of themselves not out of need, as a sacrifice for sick child/family but as a means to get silly shiny toys.
Seems to be a trend on TV with who has what and how they APPEAR versus how they are inside...With millions of my fellow Americans following non stars like they were role models...Thinking about the dinner the trip, the purse, the sunglasses, the clothes versus how they're just cheapening themselves for a later partner or how it changes your personality and habits.
In the old days I'd be all Libertarian and say "Whatever as long as they know what they're getting into." Thing is doesn't seem to be the case...Lifes do get ruined no matter the goodies you got for camming, making that video or dating that nasty rich old dude with the bad breath and white socks.
I kind of blame guys their age 20+...Seems to be that men have reverted to either being too wimpy or can't take care of their women...Seems morals and ethics are dying quickly and again I repeat this is coming from a man who has done and seen so much BS over his life and even I'm shaking my head.
Hope this stops at least 1 girl from doing the wrong thing...If you saw the article and the comments made by girls in that lifestyle you'd understand...Nothing sadder than someone smart and pretty just burning out before 25.
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Made A Belieber Out Of Me
10 Views
04/14/13
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Now I hated the Justin Beiber kid...Oh those posters in my bedroom?...They're my sister's...That autograph pic of me and his wax figure?...Oh I was just fucking around...Errrrm the Bieber tat on my shoulder?...Errrrrm that's just a henna tat...Why you shaking your head...Well Mohawk73 has one too!
Anyyways can't stand the kid, with his lesbian haircut and gay ass pants BUT then he went to Anne Franks house in the Europe...You know the little girl that hid in the attic for years hiding from the Nazis and made that amzingly stupid yet surrealistically apt comment:
"Truely inspiring to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."
First of all no one really believes he wanted to go to Anne Franks House because he's basically an idiot who doesn't know or care about history...Secondly his sentence structure is worse than mine and I think in Spanish So I at least have an excuse...Thirdly that last part made me roll on the ground...I don't know if in disgust, shock or just at how ridiculous that sounded.
Although as part of my disclaimer I have to admit that once upon a time a lieutenant and I discussed making a hot dog place and calling it Anne's Franks...So I am not so innocent myself...I know somewhere out there there is at least 1 white dude laughing at that horrible joke of mine pretending to be ashamed for laughing.
Anyway, can't hate on the Bieber because he is really that stupid...He will be the subject of such a mighty crash when he starts with hard drugs, alcohol and hs metabolism crashes...We'll all be shocked at how he once was and what he became....Just like 90% of all kid/teen stars so I'll just wait for it.
Still that statement...Wow! That's some Noodle Matzo Ball Soup right there...No shame at all.
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Are You A Priority Or An Option?
18 Views
04/13/13
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Simple question and the answer to if it's worth staying with someone.
If they make a half ass effort, take you for granted, never try to surprise you or amaze you THEN why are you with them?...For the boring company?...The boring sex?...The lack of mental stimulation and banter about average BS?
Which brings me up to this point that is often forgot:
What if you aren't as cool as you THINK, or as great a wife/husband/BF/GF as you suppose? We all think we're amazing but what if we're not?...I often tell the story of the hot Korean ex who would go into detail about how cool and awesome a gf she was an an amazing cook that took care of her man yadda yadda yadda...Till after 2 months of it I reminded her that she had NEVER cooked me anything although I had wined and dined her every weekend.
Her mouth literally dropped...She didn't say anything but make me a filet mignon the next day...Or the friend that after years of treating him I one day decided to not pay for him and after that we drifted apart...On to the next sucker I guess?
Sucks because there are times you really like the person who is bad to you...You hope they see how much you do for them or mean to them but most often as not they DON'T.
What may have been important and your way of showing affection may not mean anything to anyone else...Say I liked home made cookies over gifts and I spent time making them and decorating them for friends...Then one day I stopped and no one cared because "You can always buy them at the store."
Then your effort didn't mean anything...Sad but true...That was what used to be so hard for me to understand before...If I supposedly do all these things why isn't appreciated it?...Truth is you can't make anyone appreciate the small details and nuances...We're speaking two different languages and explaining, crying and pleading will never help...Just have to move on till you find someone who gets "it."
It's NOT a bad thing...Breaking up with someone who bores you or isn't more than blah is a good thing...Life is ment to be savored often not tasted once in a long while.
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Oh No She Didn't!
5 Views
04/13/13
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So wifey dragged me to a black Perry Tyler movie...I know what you're thinking?...Was suicide an option and why didn't I flop on the ground defecate on myself while pretending to have a seizure in order not to go?
Alas just like the Jews I got on the train...(Long uncomfortable pause)...I meant the ones going from the Bronx to Manhattan what were you thinking?
Anyway, we went without too much struggle since honestly the theater didn't have anything good to watch...Now shockingly enough I never watch black movies (Friday was the last one I saw), listen to black music (Does the guy from Hootie and the Blowfish count?) or eat black cuisine (Although biscuits and gravy does sound good right now)...But the movie was simple, full of bad acting, generalizations and stereotypes but very watchable.
Like a sinful delight I enoyed the simple formula style movie...Good husband, straying wife, asshole lover...Drama and climatic ending with a moral.
In fact I was almost like a black woman in the audience...Saying things like "Oh no girl you better not!" and "She a damn fool to believe his lies!" and the ever popular "Girl you broke that man's heart!" with my neck going side to side like Oprah during an interview...Luckily the theater was mostly empty as to not watch my shameful transormation into a 70 year old black woman.
I suddenly crave collar greens and cornbread with honey...I do actually...Not being racist...Oh and has anyone tried the red beans and rice from Popeye's?...That stuff will make you punch your granny in the mouth for a bowl...Although I'm sure it's best just to buy a bowl then do the latter.
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Shutting Down
7 Views
04/08/13
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Sometimes as a coping mechanism we all shut down...Even me when things become high stress because either you break down/freak out/explode or shut down emotionally.
Now when I say shut down I don't mean like some people who lay in a fetal position, sucking their thumbs mumbling and crying...I mean I go into Autopilot and handle things.
Guy is dead hanging in a cell?...No time to be sick or panic...Call it in go in their and start CPR on the body.
Bloody stabbing and you're in charge of the schematic, the medical and the officers?...No time to panic at the sight of the bloody mess just push on.
Wife/Husband/GF/BF/Family breaking you down, picking on you, being cruel or just stupid?...Take a deep breath, cry it out and become real cold...No emotions = Better outcome.
Haven't always been like that in fact not too long ago I blew up after a long period of someone just not getting "It." However, right now I feel fine and dandy and I honestly don't give a fuck...This must be the feeling you get if you're a sociopath...No emotion/No happiness or sadness/Just a weird curiosity as to what will happen next.
I can sense how people can get addicted to this feeling since it protects you from any emotional hurt or stress...If you don't care there is no stress...I don't feel angry just really machine like...Going to take care of somethings at work...Do a great job/Clean the slate and walk hard.
I recently was highly praised by some yet insulted by others at work...Odd thing was the ones that insulted me are the ones I ALWAYS end up helping...Or should I say always USED to help.
I'm not going to argue, state my case, show examples etc...I'm a little tired of people with no gratitude or love in my life and at work...Sooooooo:
1. Going to take a monkey position at work and step down as the #3 on my yard...All it was was just power over people, it all pays the same.
2. For people in my life who say they care but have weird ways of showing...Time to do a lil Spring Time Life Cleaning...I used to do this every 3 months or so but been awhile since I had...Better less but real then many friends/family who aren't either your friends or treat you as family.
As always I try to see the "Silver Lining" and if I look at it from the outside all I was doing was loading myself up with work and responsibilities because I like to think I'm a workhorse and vanity/pride BUT it all pays the same...And if it's not going to be appreciated then it won't be missed...So why kill myself over it?
Better to live simple and easy...Let the next Kid make his move into the position and either sink or swim.
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The Secret To The Secret
11 Views
04/01/13
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WARNING: Not dating stuff or my usual racist/chauvanistic bullshit just uber nerdy stuff...Just thinking aloud hoping to catch other fellow nerds who wander and ponder.
Back in 2003 a physicist published a paper based on reality being whatever we think it is...He had worked on that paper for a few years and it sounded ridiculous.
"What like the Matrix movies?...That's stupid!"-Said the average moron, who thinks in a box, who is afraid to think, who is afraid to seem different from EVERYONE else.
Yep just like the Matrix in a way...So lets take that point to heart and assume that things aren't what they are...That things are being manipulated in a way, molded if you will.
Now I am a work in progress, so I'm always trying to figure out who, what, where and WHY? Now over the years I've done what I call "Push My luck" which to me means make things happen just by willing them to happen...Nothing crazy just doable things...Being positive in a hard situation...Pushing through it and believing that it will all work out and fall into place...I can statistically show if I had kept record that it has worked to the point that no matter the issue, even when I get fucked over/hurt that it has worked out to my advantage.
So stepping back from my egotistical self lets look at that...I can control my luck up to a point...Isn't that what magic is?...What if magic is just the maipulation of things not in a ooga booga way but due to believing in a positive or negative way?
Ever have someone pop into your mind and miss them after many years and call and they were thinking of you too at the exact second?...Ever get scared for a person and come to find out they had just been in an accident or needed you?...Point being there are connections we don't understand that do exist.
There is Karma...There is magic...There is luck...Good and bad...Some people with their negative vibes bring bad and have constant troubles others just glide through life...There is a reason for it...It's not just luck but "something."
I haven't mastered anything yet but being aware that I'm not just some idiot being blown around with no control like a leaf by the storm of life is reassuring...You can't control EVERYTHING but you can control many things many of us just choose not too.
Think about how many times you've been miserable with a person and you whine...But who's fault is that?...Who has control?...You do...Leave him/her and that problem stops/lessens or changes...Or sitting whining about being out of shape/sick all the time...Well what the fuck you doing about it?
The power to make things happen is there...To live a life less ordinary...You want someone/something make the effort...Don't just be a wallflower...No one ever remembers wallflowers...(Not the group Mohawk73!)...It maynot work out but man the stories to tell!
Many many years ago before I got married...I had dated a beautiful model who was as exciting as low calorie deserts, the color beige, legal 8"x12" lined paper and reading Ziggy comics...When I ended up having drinks with a waitress from Coco's...Possibly getting drunk as a skunk talking...She was cute but no model when she grabbed me by my collar, slapped me across the face and said "Leave your girlfriend and I'll leave my boyfriend!" and we did...And it all crashed and burned 6 weeks later but it was fucking amazing even as the Titanic was sinking.
She took control of a situation, molded it and made things happen, she took the road less travelled and dragged me with her by my long hair back then...Things ended in a crash but that was because more opportunities weren't taken...Imagine if we all did try and sacrifice like supposedly people do in the movies/books?...Imagine we all did love how we believe we should be loved?
Fuck this world be so different...In a good way.
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